FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS EXPERIENCED WITH ENDOMETRIOSIS: ISOLATION AND ANGER
Isolation
‘I feel so alone. I have never heard of this disease and most of my family and friends don’t even know how to pronounce it let alone understand what it means. How can I explain it to them in simple terms when I don’t understand it myself?’
This is a common cry for help. Many women find it difficult to discuss their gynecological problems with family or friends because they are embarrassed or simply do not want to burden people with their problems.
Some may find that they feel isolated because partners or family and friends have heard about the symptoms for so long that they no longer want to discuss it now that a diagnosis has been made.
Others believe that once the woman has had surgery such as a laparoscopy or laparotomy she is cured and should have no more problems. Little do they realize that this may be just the beginning.
Anger
Most women with endometriosis have felt anger at some stage. It may happen after you overcome the initial confusion and feelings of isolation because then you start asking yourself: ‘Why me?’, ‘Why am I infertile?’, ‘Why didn’t doctors pick this up sooner?’, ‘Why isn’t there a cure?’, ‘What research is being undertaken?’, ‘Why isn’t more information available about this disease?’
With all these questions racing through your mind it is difficult to realize that you have not been singled out to suffer. You will feel angry that at some stage this disease may interrupt your life or that it may prevent you from having children, or attaining other goals in your life or pursuing some sporting interest or hobby.
You may also feel angry because endometriosis is a chronic disease for which there is no ‘cure’. You may be angry because a diagnosis has taken so long, because doctors do not have all the answers and it seems that no-one understands your turmoil.
Your partner too may be confused and frustrated by the disruption the disease has caused to your lives. He may feel angry that there is no cure, or may find it difficult because you may need his constant support.
How do you cope with this anger and frustration that you both may feel?
Try to include your partner in talks about the disease. Encourage him to accompany you on visits to the doctor or to meetings of support groups.
Let your partner talk about his fears and concerns and include him in any decision making.
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